Can you grow into love in an arranged marriage?

Will people have a good relationship if their marriage was by force? If it’s not how can we change it.

Hello someone,

Your question might be a tad too complex for us at the petty panel to answer and give justice. We are nonetheless going to try.

Marriage is a concept made up by humanity to share possessions and secure positions. This makes the original nature of marriage quite unromantic. This doesn’t mean that back then, you couldn’t like or even love the person you were going to marry, it just wasn’t a priority. That is usually the nature of an arranged marriage. While it can be a happy marriage it is not necessary with that type of arrangement.

There are no guarantees to having a happy marriage in any sort of marriage and when it is a forced one that possibility becomes even more bleak.  In theory a forced marriage can be both wonderful and horrible. But there is no way to make sure that it will be great. It is up to the people getting married, their compatibility and their willingness to keep the relationship going.  

// Thoughtful Theodora

Hi,

The reason you get married to someone is because you are in love, right? If you get forced to marry a stranger obviously those feelings are not there. However if you cannot change your situation you could get to know your partner and maybe you would even realize they’re not that bad. You will find qualities in them that you like. Love is despite popular belief something we create and grow into, not something that appears out of thin air. Attraction is what arises out of thin air, not love. I believe love is something we humans have the choice to create. Especially if you are looking for emotional compatibility where you and your partner are best friends more often than lovers. 

I do realize that usually you find a person that you feel a connection with then go from there, so my advice to you would be to get to know the person you’re about to marry. Since you two are going to be spending a lot of time together you might as well find out what you two have in common, go to your favorite places and do your favorite activities. So to answer your question, of course people can have a good relationship even if the marriage is arranged. It is however different with each couple and some pairings are more compatible than others. Nevertheless this is the case with every single relationship.

There is no guarantee to having a good relationship even if it is not an arranged one and there will always be issues, you will have fights. Although at the end of the day you will still have someone to go home to, someone to care for as much as you care for them. The basic principles of having a good relationship are surely everywhere over the internet because there are few people who know exactly how to do the whole “relationship thing”. Everything from taking an interest in your partner to accepting them as they are and providing them with emotional support. You should know that you will have to put in work, it has to be mutual. If only one person ends up trying to keep the relationship together it will fall apart.

If this didn’t help you at all, I’m sorry, however I’m still single so maybe that would give you a clue as to why.

Good luck and I truly hope everything works out. Sincerely,

//Sympathetic Sam

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