How to support someone who is hurting

Hey, […] I’ve been thinking and I’ve noticed that a lot of people go through hard times constantly; there’s always people around me who are hurting. Either it’s sorrow because of a dead relative, there’s problems at home, they’re struggling with a relationship or even being depressed (due to, for instance reasons I’ve already mentioned) or not loving themselves and doubting themselves.

How do I support someone who’s going through a darker period in their life. I’ve had my ups and downs but I can’t remember how people helped me and how I got to a better place; I just became better.

I find this really hard, it’s not easy to support some of my loved ones because unless they believe that they’ll be better or want to  become better, they won’t and I know this from experience. It’s just so mind boggling and almost sad because some people get so wrapped up in the darkness that they don’t realise the beauty of life and that life continues on and the time we have now we won’t get back.

I’m conflicted over how to help, I’m actually dying to help but I don’t know how. Help please, help!

//Anonymous  

Hello,
First of all, I just wish to say that this is a very good question which I think a lot of people are concerned about and therefore will appreciate. However, it is a complex question that requires a complex answer, which I’m not entirely sure that I can give you.

Of course you should always, always, put yourself and your mental health first. Your friend is important but to be able to help someone, you must help yourself first. That is my first advice to you. Secondly, you should be there for the person in question and listen when they talk and hold them when they need it. I’m sorry to say so but that is really all you can do. Just be there. I wish I could answer this with a magical answer or wave a magical wand which will make all the bad go away, but I can’t. Unfortunately no one (to the extent of my knowledge anyway) can. At least not outside Hogwarts.

//Rational Rachel

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